From the ‘family-side’ of things, my brother and I spent over ten years in a mental war with ourselves because we could not understand why we weren’t sexually attracted to women. Having this picture embedded in our heads as growing boys in a hyper-masculine culture really messed us up mentally.
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This was our end goal along with having successful careers.
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This is what a family was supposed to look like. We have had to face social pressures in our coming out process from many different angles of our lives.Īs kids, my brother and I knew what a family–in the eyes of my parents and culture at the time–was supposed to look like: a husband, a wife, and kids, maybe a dog. We participated in organized sports on all-male teams since we were six years old and now play at the NCAA level. We are the only male children on my dad’s side of the family who carry our last name. We even attended Catholic school for nine years. We were raised in a culture which values machismo. We are first-generation immigrants from Peru and raised Catholic. For my brother, Michael, and me, coming out was so difficult because of reasons which often aren’t thought about. Someone who is Catholic coming out to their family faces obstacles which someone who isn’t wouldn’t have to experience.
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For example, someone of color coming out to their family faces different obstacles a white person wouldn’t experience. “There are many facets of the coming out process a lot of people don’t think about.